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[This post is a part of my series on infertile women in the Bible, Barren + Biblical. Click here to return to the Barren + Biblical homepage.]
“Give me children, or I’ll die!” (Rachel, Genesis 30:1)
(And you thought you were being dramatic.)
Of all the infertility stories in the Bible, the story of Rachel is by far my favorite. Here’s why.
Other Infertility Bible Stories
With Hannah in 1 Samuel 1, I read how she was provoked by the other pregnant wife (so not fair), and then I cheer as she wholeheartedly prays and dedicates her yet-to-be-conceived child to the Lord (smart move, Hannah, smart move), and then she conceives! Yes!
With Elizabeth in Luke 1, I marvel at how she was “upright in the sight of God, observing all the Lord’s commandments and regulations blamelessly” (impressive, Elizabeth, how did you manage that?) even in the midst of infertility, and then she conceives! Yes!
And then, with Rachel, I read how she became intensely jealous of her sister Leah and dramatically said she would die if she didn’t have kids, offering up her maidservant to Jacob to have kids through her instead since God wasn’t coming through (and then, even worse, after her maidservant had two kids, remarked “I have had a great struggle with my sister, and I have won” (Genesis 30:8) as if having kids was just a competition!!!), and THEN, after ALL THAT, she conceives.
Huh?
In case you didn’t notice, that is not what she deserved, God.
(Isn’t there this small, sinful part of you that likes when people “get what they deserve”? HaHA! That’s what you get! #karma! Gentle reminder, here, people, God desires mercy and forgiveness, not revenge. Whoops.)
Anyway, back to Rachel.
This is precisely why the story of Rachel is my favorite infertility story in the Bible. (Read the story in Genesis 29-30 before going on!) While the others challenge me to be a more godly person during infertility (which is why I like those stories, too), this one reminds me of the most important part of the Christian faith:
God gives us blessings even when we don’t deserve them.
For some reason when I read the story of Rachel, I’m a little surprised (and annoyed) at first. God, she didn’t deserve a child after all of this! Can’t you see that this was totally just a competition between her and Leah! THIS is the woman you picked to conceive Joseph? Why wouldn’t you make her get to a place of acceptance first…a place where she would learn to be happy for her sister and trust you to provide everything she needs? And THEN give her children after she was “godly enough”?
And then I remember: Duh! The foundation of the entire Christian faith…not getting what you deserve! Not earning blessings! Hellooooo!!
Earning Motherhood
Oops. So I apologize that this revelation is so #basic. But somewhere along the line, I think we’ve gotten so paranoid about what we’re doing wrong, that we eventually conclude we are not good enough to have children. Or that we’ve irreparably wronged God in some way and have to make up for it before He will allow us kids. Or we think — God must just want me to get to a place of sinlessness (not possible, by the way) and trust before he agrees to give me children.
After all, isn’t that even what other people tell us sometimes too? Stop stressing about it. Just have faith. Adopt, and then you’ll get pregnant. As if we have to get to some certain godly place of “not caring so much if we have kids” or “being more faithful” before God will allow us this blessing. As if he is holding back this blessing from us, dangling it in front of us in the form of our friends’ children, asking us to just be a little happier for them before He’ll give us our own.
But God doesn’t do that. Is He still trying to teach us something in the waiting time? Probably. Is He still in control? Definitely. But is He telling us we need to be better Christians before He’ll give us blessings like children? Never.
Yes, I still admire and long to be more like Hannah and Elizabeth and the other infertile women in the Bible (because I love God, not because I think it’ll earn me kids). And if I’m being honest, I’m oftentimes a little more like Rachel: jealous, dramatic, and wondering why God hasn’t come through for me yet. Thankfully, her story reminds me: God doesn’t bestow blessings on only the most godly of people, but on those undeserving people, too.
You’ll find me in the latter camp, right there along with Rachel.
[This post is a part of my series on infertile women in the Bible, Barren + Biblical. Click here to return to the Barren + Biblical homepage.]
*Note: If you noticed that the URL says “Rebekah,” and not “Rachel,” I apologize! This is a story about Rachel!
