How to Prepare for a Natural Miscarriage

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[Disclaimer: I am not a doctor or medical practitioner. Any medical information is strictly my opinion based on research and personal experience, and not to be taken as advice. Always seek the advice of a licensed physician for your medical needs. Read my full disclaimer here.]

Before anything else, I have to say that I think this title would’ve seemed a little funny to me before. How to prepare for a natural miscarriage? How will you know you’re going to miscarry?

Turns out, sometimes you find out you’re going to miscarry before you actually do. And if you do, and you decide to wait to miscarry naturally (which I’m guessing you’ve decided or at least are thinking about, since you’ve landed on this post), there’s honestly not much to do except wait…and these couple other things I recommend:

(Note: For a tiny bit of background, I miscarried naturally at 10 weeks. At my 9 and a half week ultrasound, baby measured a little over 6 weeks and had no heartbeat. If you are looking for more of the story of what happened during my miscarriage and/or what to expect, check out this post instead.)

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1. Stay close to home

The weekend I miscarried, it was fortunately — or unfortunately? — on Labor Day weekend. I was actually hoping for that, so that I wouldn’t have to take off work unexpectedly and make sub plans in the middle of the night or something — or worse, miscarry in front of my students and have to rush out of school.

On the other hand, we almost went up north to my husband’s family cottage 4 hours away that weekend. I found out I was going to miscarry 4 days before I actually did; how was I supposed to know when it was coming? Although I had started to spot (just barely!), I had read that people could spot for like a week or two before actually miscarrying. I didn’t want to ruin everyone’s weekend by not going. What if I didn’t end up miscarrying and then stayed home for no reason? (As a side note, I almost stayed back and had my husband just take my son…I’m glad he didn’t. You should have someone with you just in case. See tip #4.)

If there’s only one piece of advice I could give you now, it would be to stick close to home — at least close enough so that you could drive home fairly quickly once you realize it’s starting. I really can’t imagine being anywhere except for at home. A cottage in the middle of the woods would have been my last choice.

2. Be prepared to take off work last-minute

I didn’t take this advice myself, and it ended up working out for me (see tip #1)…but I probably should’ve just in case. With my first miscarriage at 7 and a half weeks, I actually miscarried through the night and went to work in the morning (don’t recommend).

For this miscarriage, I again miscarried overnight. But this time I would not have been able to go to work in the morning. I was still bleeding too much (as in, big clots coming out which required me to be close to a bathroom to pass them). If you’re someone like me and works in a job where it’s more difficult to take a day off than it is to just go in, do yourself a favor and make emergency sub plans or do whatever it is you need to do to be prepared to take a last-minute day off.

3. Have pads and towels…and maybe something to do…ready

On our way home from the ultrasound when we found out we would be waiting on a miscarriage, we stopped at the store to get the biggest pads I could find (these). I also had liners for spotting. I put some of both in my school bag, in my purse, and in my car — basically so I’d have them with me anywhere I went. (Which I was grateful for, since I started miscarrying at my parent’s.) I also had towels that I put over my sheets on the bed for sleeping the night that I miscarried.

The night that I miscarried, I spent a lot of time in and out of the bathroom. The rest of the time I spent laying in bed, unable to sleep. I actually read a book a lot of the time. I was glad I had one downloaded on my kindle so I could read without keeping my husband up all night. (For some people, the thought of reading while miscarrying might sound crazy. I know some people might be in way too much pain to do anything…but my miscarriage oddly wasn’t painful. I just felt dizzy and needed something to pass the time.)

And one more thing: Make sure you have soap for the shower. (I know, who runs out of soap?) I spent part of the time miscarrying in the shower since I felt like I had blood all over me…and somehow that was the exact moment I realized I needed to replace the bar of soap…and we had none left. My husband ended up having to run out to the dollar store!

4. Know when to go into the ER

I still am not sure the answer to this one, but I recommend you ask your OB and know for sure. I’ve read differing things online…soaking through 2 pads in an hour for more than 2 hours, soaking through 1 pad in an hour…does that mean with blood clots? What about the tissue that passes when you go to the bathroom? It felt like I was passing much more blood than that. At the same time, the stories I read online made me feel like that was normal. For me, the experience of miscarrying wasn’t really steady heavy bleeding, but more waves of big clots (see this post for more about what to expect).

Like I said earlier, I also felt dizzy and like I was going to pass out. Online it says I should’ve gone to the ER. I didn’t want to; I had a feeling it was just because I was seeing too much blood. And I had read other stories of women who went in only to bleed everywhere in the waiting room and have the doctors not really treat it as an emergency. (I had also read horror stories of women who lost too much blood and needed a transfusion, so that scared me too.) In the end, I wish I would’ve clarified with my OB when exactly to go in. In addition, make sure someone is with you. If I had been by myself, I think I would’ve been even more freaked out because I wouldn’t have had a way to get to the ER if I had needed to (besides calling 911).

5. Read up on what to expect — and expect a lot of blood and pain

I talk about this in maybe too much detail in my other post about my miscarriage story, but everyone’s experience is so different. Nevertheless, it did help me to read others’ stories. My OB had informed me that since my baby was only measuring 6 and a half weeks, I wouldn’t see anything pass that resembled a baby. However, if you’re measuring farther along than that, you might actually have contractions and deliver a tiny baby…which, I think would be even more traumatic — and even more so if you weren’t expecting it.

I also remember reading one story of a women who said it wasn’t painful for her. I couldn’t imagine that, since my earlier miscarriage at 7 weeks was painful. But I actually ended up having the same experience. Although I’ve speculated on why that is, I really have no idea. I would say be prepared for terrible cramps, even though that wasn’t my experience.

On the other hand, I did experience what I would consider a significant amount of bleeding. Again, I explain more in my other post. (And I did feel slightly dizzy because of it.) I actually looked up others’ experiences in the Miscarriage Support Group on the What to Expect app in the middle of miscarrying. It was reassuring to hear that many women seemed to have experienced the same amount of bleeding that I was.

Ultimately, I was glad to have read different stories just to have somewhat of an idea of what to expect. (For some people, that might induce more of an anxiety or panic…read as much as you want ahead of time.)

6. Be prepared…to wait

Even more than the miscarriage itself, the waiting for it was the worst. If you choose the natural route, just know that it could be a while. In my experience, I had some warnings several hours before it happened that it was likely coming soon (spotting turning to red bleeding). But before then, I had no idea when it was going to happen. The waiting, honestly, was excruciating…and I only had to wait 4 days. That said, I was very glad in the end that I chose the natural route and waited. So stick it out if you know that’s what you want to do too (per your OB’s approval, obviously). And if not or if you cannot wait any longer, do your research on D+Cs and medication to determine what the best option is for you.

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