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[This post is a part of my series on infertile women in the Bible, Barren + Biblical. Click here to return to the Barren + Biblical homepage.]
The opening of the infertility story of Hannah in the Bible (in 1 Samuel 1) reads almost like a nursery rhyme: “He [Elkanah] had two wives; one was called Hannah and the other Peninnah. Penninah had children, but Hannah had none” (1 Samuel 1:2).
And just like that, in verse 2, I’m so annoyed for Hannah. (Really, do you have to so blatantly compare her to fertile myrtle Peninnah?) And then Penninah has the nerve to taunt Hannah about it! (1 Samuel 1:6) In this ancient story, the emotions that Hannah deals with seem so modern-day: Because of her infertility, Hannah was sad, deeply troubled, irritated, and bitter (emotions that I think a lot of infertile people today pretend they don’t feel — they’re only “sad but happy for everyone else” — never irritated or bitter).
Here’s a short recap:
Eventually Hannah makes a vow that if she has a son she will give him to the Lord. God then allows her to conceive, and Hannah keeps her promise. Even after waiting so long for a child, Hannah gives him up to the Lord. She doesn’t even get to raise him. As a result, her son Samuel grows up at Eli’s (the priest’s) house “in the presence of the Lord” (1 Samuel 2:21). Samuel eventually becomes one of Israel’s greatest leaders. And oh yeah — as he’s growing up, every year Hannah goes to see little Sam and takes him a robe that she makes herself. Heartbreaking. (Okay, Hannah does have five more kids after Samuel, but still, can you imagine?)
The Point of the Infertility Story of Hannah
At first glance, what really stands out in this story is Hannah’s faith and what she did. (And I’ve already written before about the admirable way that Hannah handled her emotions in spite of Penninah’s taunting.) I mean really, can you imagine waiting so long for a child and then letting someone else raise him — having to look forward to seeing him once a year at the annual sacrifice, sewing him little robes in preparation? Hannah seems pretty amazing.
But while I think it is important and valuable to spend time studying Biblical characters and learning from them, we also need to remember that the Bible is first and foremost a story about God and what He does. Because I’m tempted to read this story and see only what I can do in order to get God to do what I want. (God, what kind of a deal do I need to make with you to get a child?)
So although this is a story about Hannah’s faith, it’s ultimately a story about God’s wisdom. And as much as I hate to say it (because going through infertility you get a little sick of well-intentioned people crowing that “Everything happens for a reason!” or “It will happen when the timing is right!”), this story really does showcase God’s perfect timing. (Or, rather, his perfect plan, if you prefer that, like I do.)
Here’s what I mean:
Can you imagine if Hannah would’ve had kids right away? Surely then she would have never vowed to the Lord that her son would grow up under Eli the priest instead of in her own house. Or what if Hannah would’ve had kids even a few years earlier? David may have been too young (he was so young already) for Samuel to call on him to replace him as king. If the timing had been any different, the whole story would have been different.
Asking Why
In a lot of instances, I think we’ve been taught that asking “why” during times of suffering is futile, worthless. We’ll never know why, and there are other, “better” questions we should be asking, like “What is God teaching me?” or “How can I serve God during suffering?” (Not bad questions, by the way.) But in the case of infertility (I don’t claim to speak for other times of suffering), I don’t think it’s a bad thing to ask why. If we really think about it, asking why can remind us of God’s perfect wisdom and His perfect plan.
Imagine if you had kids immediately when you first started trying. You surely wouldn’t be doing the same things you’re doing right now. I’d probably be “too busy” to be reading the Bible so much, or my life too chaotic to have started this blog. Because your skin changes so much during pregnancy (or so I’ve heard), maybe the doctors would’ve never found the melanoma on my leg, or I just wouldn’t have gone in to the dermatologist. Maybe it would have spread.
Or think about the timing of things in your own life – imagine if you had been born in a different year, graduated a year or two earlier. Your friends would be different, your spouse different, your job different. Your whole story would be different.
Why? Can be a Reminder
So when you go through infertility, it’s not a bad thing to think about why — and may that “why” be a reminder of God’s infinite wisdom and perfect plan for your life. Maybe God knows – like He did for Hannah – that infertility will push you to make some decisions that will honor Him, things that you wouldn’t have done otherwise. Or maybe God has special plans for your future child – like he did for Samuel — plans that require him to be born in a certain year, so that he crosses paths with certain people – like Samuel did with David.
Or maybe your guesses at the reasons behind God’s timing and plans are none of those things. Admittedly, we are guessing at a wisdom of which we cannot even fathom. Maybe your infertility is for another reason, one that you’ll never even know, one that is bigger than yourself. But we do know that God is working all things out for the good of those who love Him. And Hannah’s story should remind us that God’s timing (His plan) really is perfect.
[This post is a part of my series on infertile women in the Bible, Barren + Biblical. Click here to return to the Barren + Biblical homepage.]
