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A couple of weeks ago, when I was stressing about something at work, I remember telling my husband, “I’m just so sick of worrying about this.” As soon as I said it, I realized how ridiculous it sounded. That would be like saying, “I’m just so sick of eating Cheerios for breakfast,” when there are Crunch Berries right next to the Cheerios in the cupboard. Why wouldn’t I just grab the Crunch Berries? But how do you just stop worrying?
There are a lot of things we like to pretend we have control over that we actually don’t—like our family, our finances, and our future. And there are a lot of other things we like to pretend we have no control over that we actually do—like our attitudes, our actions, and—of course—anxiety.
So why was I choosing to worry when I was sick of worrying?
That brings me to the first of three lies I think a lot of us believe about worry:
LIE #1: I can’t help it.
We’ve normalized worry. No matter what we call it — worry, anxiety, or stress — it’s become a part of normal life. Everyone does it, and we talk about it like there’s nothing else we can do…we just can’t help it.
REAL TRUTH #1: God helps you overcome it.
I think this is the hardest truth for us to wrap our minds around. Some of us who have been worriers for years can’t imagine that we could ever change. It wouldn’t make sense. The Bible agrees; it doesn’t make sense:
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Phillippians 4:6-7, NIV (emphasis mine)
Not worrying — accepting God’s peace in the place of our worry — is beyond our understanding. But don’t get me wrong — it does take EFFORT. Don’t expect a random halfhearted prayer thrown out here or there to give you a “peace that transcends all understanding.” We have to seek God first. Click HERE to read about the three-step plan for overcoming anxiety that helped me.
And, for more about how you can change your mindset and take control of your thoughts, check out this AWESOME Christian book by Dr. Caroline Leaf. (Highly recommend!)
LIE #2: If I don’t worry about the people I love, it means I don’t care about them enough.
I used to equate worrying about others with how much I loved them. I used to almost feel like I needed to worry. Isn’t that a sign of how much I care?
–Staying awake tonight worrying about my dad’s cancer reveals how much I love him.
–I have to worry more about my brother getting a job to show that I really do care.
–Stressing about my husband’s appointment means I love him.
Not worrying just makes it seem like I don’t care.
REAL TRUTH #2: Worrying doesn’t prove that I love other people more; it proves that I trust God less.
God has a plan for all things—I don’t need to worry about the plan because God has already taken care of it.
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him.”
Romans 8:28, NIV
When we worry, we’re essentially telling God that we don’t believe we can trust him to work out everything for our good. We don’t trust that God still has a plan.
LIE #3: Worrying can help.
I don’t think this is a conscious thought for anyone, by any means. Logically, we know worrying doesn’t help. Subconsciously, though, we believe that worrying can help us prepare for the worst. Worrying helps us be more in tune to our problems so that we might be able to prevent something.
This scenario usually happens with my health. What if I’m not worried about this mole…and then that mole turns out to be skin cancer? What if I’m not worried about this migraine…and the migraine turns out to be a symptom of a tumor? If I don’t worry and stress about any little thing with my health, maybe I’ll miss symptoms of life-threatening diseases that could save my life if I catch them early enough!
REAL TRUTH #3: Worrying cannot add years to my life.
In fact, worry can cause health problems, not prevent them.
“Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life?”
Luke 12:25, NIV
I read a quote somewhere the other day that said: “Worrying means you suffer twice.” It’s true — if the worst does happen and you were prepared for it, how does that help you anyway?
God tells us in advance that we WILL have trouble. But he alone can give us peace. To receive that peace, we have to be willing to give our worries to him — to commit to Him.
“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
John 16:33, NIV
Let’s face it: recognizing the lies we believe about worry is one thing. Actually not worrying anymore is another thing. Like I said, it takes work. Remind yourself of these truths and try this strategy to help you overcome anxiety.
