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[Disclaimer: I am not a doctor or medical practitioner. Any medical information is strictly my opinion based on research and personal experience, and not to be taken as advice. Always seek the advice of a licensed physician for your medical needs. Read my full disclaimer here.]
So…you’re finally seeing a fertility specialist or reproductive endocrinologist or whatever you want to call the people who specialize in this sort of stuff. (Scheduling that appointment was actually tough for me. See my infertility grief stages here.)
I mistakenly went in for my first appointment blindly, without having done much research on anything. I had no idea what to expect at my first fertility specialist appointment. Here are the things I wish I would’ve known (and the questions I should’ve asked!):
1. Your doctor has seen this all before — no matter what your issues are.
Keep in mind this is what your doctor does for a living — so you are one of dozens of patients this doctor sees daily with the same issue. For doctors, your infertility is not a personal, emotional issue that needs to be thought about (like it is for you!); it’s simply a medical issue that needs to be treated. I actually had a doctor tell me that. (Hey, at least she was upfront about it!) So while I was still wrapping my mind around the fact that I was going to be one of those people “struggling with infertility,” my doctor was sitting there asking me when I wanted to schedule an IUI treatment. Wait, what?
Given that you’ve already been to your OB/GYN to rule out anything basic (and your husband’s already been tested too), your doctor might want to start you on a treatment plan immediately. Just be ready for it — and be ready to say that you aren’t ready if you’re not. (Or, hey, maybe you are ready to jump right in!)
2. Your doctor may not care about finding out the real reason behind your infertility.
Maybe for you this is a good thing — maybe you just want treatment to try to get pregnant as soon as possible. I wanted to know what was wrong with me. So when the doctor told me my infertility was “unexplained,” and there weren’t really any more tests to be done, I wasn’t real thrilled. This is still the hardest thing for me to accept. If I don’t know the cause of my infertility, won’t we just be guessing at solutions that might work that cost thousands of dollars (because that solution might not even be addressing the problem)?
3. You will have to fight for and push for the treatment and care that you want.
My doctor immediately recommended Clomid (my OB had already given me a script for that, which I had picked up but not taken yet) with simultaneous IUI. Did I mention immediately?
Like I said earlier, I wasn’t exactly ready for that yet. I asked her to look at my blood levels again — wasn’t my prolactin even just slightly elevated? When she checked, she agreed that maybe I should have them tested again. When I did, my level was even higher. She recommended Cabergoline once a week, which I would much rather give a try first before IUI. At least I’d be addressing something that seems like it could be a problem.
AND: Questions I wish I would’ve asked when seeing a fertility specialist:
1. WHY are you recommending this treatment SPECIFICALLY for me?
2. Are there any natural things that I can try first/are there natural alternatives to this medication? (I wish I would’ve tried vitex instead of cabergoline.)
3. Are you the one who performs the treatments? (Although I haven’t done any treatments, I’ve heard many REs aren’t even present at many treatments.)
4. How much does each procedure cost/do you know what my insurance covers? (This seems obvious and many clinics have cost breakdowns they will give you…but they do not always include ALL of the fees. I learned that lesson the hard way.)
5. What is the success rate of each of these procedures you’re recommending?
In addition, before the fertility specialist, before even seeing my “normal” OB/GYN about infertility, I wish I had done these three things (it would’ve saved me thousands of dollars!).
*On another note, all of this compelled me to do some of my own research about the best ways to increase my chances of conception. Check out my list of TTC Tips: Fact or Fiction? here.
I can completely relate to this article! I found that to be true as well that doctors don’t think of you as an individual patient who might be different from other patients. I wish I knew this 3 years ago or even 10 years ago when was 18 the Gynocologist immediately put me on birth control to regulate my severely abnormal cycle! Instead of trying to figure out the problem they just put me on a pill for a quick fix. So that here I am 10 years later wanting to have kids and I can’t.
So frustrating. Yes, one of the biggest lessons I’ve learned through all of this is to advocate for myself!