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In the last couple of days I’ve both listened to a podcast and read a devotional that “coincidentally” happened to be on the same topic: John 21: 18-22. Somehow I’ve always seemed to gloss over this section—it’s one of the few chapters of the gospels in my Bible that has no highlighting or pencil marks on it. Look closely: Don’t miss (like I did) Jesus’ hidden message on how to stop comparing yourself to everyone else.
Here it is (Jesus is speaking to Peter):
“I tell you the truth, when you were younger you dressed yourself and went where you wanted; but when you are old you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go.” Jesus said this to indicate the kind of death by which Peter would glorify God. Then he said to him, “Follow me!” Peter turned and saw that the disciple whom Jesus loved was following them. (This was the one who had leaned back against Jesus at the supper and had said, “Lord, who is going to betray you?”) When Peter saw him, he asked, “Lord what about him?”
John 21:18-21, NIV
What about him?
Just stop for a minute and re-read that, because it’s long. And then think: How many times have you asked God, “What about him?” We compare ourselves to others without even realizing it.
–God, I can’t get pregnant right now—but what about her?
–I can’t get hired for my dream job—but what about him?
–We don’t have enough money for a new house—but what about them?
Those questions we ask are not out of concern for my friend—as in:
I can’t get pregnant right now—but what about her? I still want what’s best for my friend.
No, those questions are out of concern for myself—as in:
I can’t get pregnant right now—but what about her? Are you really going to let my friend get pregnant immediately when I haven’t been able to for two years? How is that fair? What am I supposed to do?
To see the answer, we have to read one more verse:
Jesus answered, “If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You must follow me.”
John 21:22, NIV
What is that to you if all of your friends have their dream jobs and you don’t? And what is that to you if your friends can afford a mansion and you can’t? What is that to you?
You must follow me.
While Jesus was trying to talk about “the death by which Peter would glorify God,” Peter was worried about the other disciples. He was worried not about God’s plan for his own life, but how it was going to compare to his friend’s.
It’s funny how we always wish we could live everyone else’s story but our own. We like to blame our addiction to comparison on Instagram and Snapchat and every other form of social media—and they definitely don’t help—but ultimately, Peter did the same thing 2000 years ago. And when he got caught up in the comparison, Jesus asked him the same question that he asks us today: “What is that to you?” And then he tells us the one thing — the only thing — that we can do to stop the comparison: Follow him. Start praying. Reading the Bible. Focusing more on his plan for your life, and less about how it compares to his plan for everyone else’s. It’s the only way to stop comparing yourself to everyone else.
