Before we get to my tips for having an all-natural birth, I have to say: I haven’t shared my birth story on this blog for two reasons.
1. For a long time I felt weird talking about pregnancy and labor on my blog largely focused on infertility; and 2. I had an incredibly short labor…so much so that even though I was already committed to having an unmedicated birth, it was so fast that I didn’t end up having the option to get an epidural anyway. (In a nutshell: My water broke at home. My contractions started minutes later. We left for the hospital right away. I was already 9/10 cm dilated when I arrived. I pushed for almost 2 hours and he was born.)
So, admittedly, I can’t speak to enduring hours and hours of endless contractions and refusing an epidural. And, to be honest, everyone’s experience is so different — maybe my labor was truly easier than others’ experiences. I like to tell myself, though, that it was easier because of this advice I’m about to give you!
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[Disclaimer: I am not a doctor or medical practitioner. Any medical information is strictly my opinion based on research and personal experience, and not to be taken as advice. Always seek the advice of a licensed physician for your medical needs. Read my full disclaimer here.]
One thing first
One last thing before we get to the tips: I think some people become obsessed with the idea of having an unmedicated birth — to the point that if it doesn’t go as planned, they are disappointed or even upset. So let’s take a step back here for a minute. Although I am an advocate for having an unmedicated birth, how much does it really matter as long as baby and mom are healthy at the end of it all? I think many people spend too much time thinking about labor and not enough about actually raising their child. Labor typically lasts hours; raising a child, God-willing, lasts years.
So although I’m grateful I had the unmedicated birth I hoped for, had my doctors said I needed an emergency C-section or other medical intervention during labor for the health or safety of my baby or myself, I would have done it right away. (By the way, when I use the terms “unmedicated” and “all-natural,” what I mean is not getting an epidural or other form of pain medication.)
Remember that there is a lot about childbirth that is out of your control. Above all, don’t get so caught up in thinking about how you want your labor to go that you forget the most important part of it — your baby!
Okay, now let’s get on with it. Here are my best tips for having an unmedicated, all-natural birth:
3 Tips to Help you Have an All-Natural Birth
1. Prepare yourself physically by exercising and eating dates
In the last several months leading up to my due date, I walked 3-4 miles almost every day. Fortunately, my due date was in September (in Michigan), so I was able to walk outside all summer. Truthfully, this would have been much more difficult if it had been the dead of winter! I also started eating six dates per day starting at my 36th week of pregnancy. The research has proven that eating dates does help with labor — here’s the details of why.
2. Keep your hands and face loose and relaxed
This is the most practical, in-the-moment-of-labor tip for having an all-natural birth that I stumbled upon when reading tips from various articles. Despite my usual commitment to research what really works, it’s really just common sense that all of our muscles are interconnected. If your jaw muscles and your hands are tensed up, your whole body tenses up. And that can’t be helpful when you’re in labor.
On the other hand, when you concentrate on keeping your other muscles loose, it forces your entire body to relax. On the way to the hospital in the midst of contractions, the biggest thing that helped me was simply focusing on keeping my mouth and hands relaxed. This leads into my final tip:
3. Don’t be afraid of the pain
I remember when I told my OB that I was planning an unmedicated birth. Her response? “Don’t try to be a hero.” Many of my friends’ responses? “Just keep an open mind.”
The implication was either that I was severely underestimating the pain involved in childbirth, or that I was doing this as some sort of show of strength or heroism. I don’t believe either were true. Truthfully, I’m not even 100% sure why I was convinced I wanted to have an unmedicated birth. (Yes, there are lots of arguments for why — maybe I’ll write a post on that someday.) Ultimately, I think a big reason I didn’t want to get an epidural was just because I wasn’t afraid of the pain.
Before giving birth, I heard stories about how labor would be the most painful experience of my life. Yes, it was painful, but honestly? It was not nearly as painful as I expected.
I believe this was simply due to the fact that I expected it to be the most painful experience ever. Therefore, I was not scared or nervous when the pain was terrible…which, oddly, makes a difference in how painful the whole experience actually is. (I wasn’t wondering, “Is this normal?” Yes, the pain is normal. This is in contrast to when I had surgery to remove a spot of melanoma from my leg, and when I had many sleepless nights with my leg throbbing, I had no idea if it should be that painful…was this an infection in my leg? Was there something wrong?) Childbirth is painful; it’s to be expected. But it’s not unbearable!
It makes sense that our body’s default reaction is to fight against pain (and tense up as a result). But having the mindset that the pain is needed and inevitable in childbirth made a big difference for me. Not to mention, knowing that the pain results in a baby should make it all the more bearable!
And lastly…
I was reading a blog the other day about someone who said they didn’t prepare nearly enough for their first labor (only read a few articles), which is why it ended in an epidural. She recommended taking a class, reading a book, and hiring a doula.
I disagree.
In fact, I did much less preparation — mentally or otherwise – than what “people” (all the blogs I read) tell you to do. I once half-jokingly mentioned the idea of hypnobirthing to my husband after countless bloggers talked about it, and his response was “don’t be weird.” I also skipped another resource bloggers swear by — the book Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth. In fact, I didn’t read any books. I Pinterested a few tips (like maybe you’re doing right now). And that’s it.
That’s because more than research, more than mental preparation, more than physical exercises, more even than this list of 3 tips…having an all-natural, unmedicated birth really just comes down to one thing: Whether or not you truly want to. It’s not a matter of if you can; anyone can (barring a medical emergency or something else out of your control, of course). People have been giving birth for hundreds of years before an epidural was even an option. You can definitely handle the pain; it’s just whether or not you want to.
