The Real Reason You’re Not Content

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What’s the real reason you’re not content?

My dad just retired last year. The thing is, he had been working at the same school district for his entire career—since he graduated college at age 22. He’s 60 now. That’s 36 years—more than half of his lifetime so far.

Have you ever noticed how that doesn’t happen much anymore? I’ve been teaching for 9 years now, and I’m on my fourth school already. Most everyone I work with has been AT LEAST one other school. And here’s the thing—where I work is great and I enjoy it and some days I’d even say I love it—but I’m not sure I’ll stay here for my entire career. Why?

What if I could be even happier?

And there’s the problem, and the problem with people like me. We’re never content. Even in the midst of being blessed with a job I enjoy, I’m always looking for something else. I’m happy, but what if I could be even happier? What if this isn’t really my calling? What about all of those other people who are doing things with their lives that look way cooler than what I’m doing with my life?

I think that’s why for a long time I never thought I’d get married. And even after I got married, I had an occasional panic. Getting married was never part of the plan. I never meant to settle down. I never meant to make a lifetime commitment to anything.

Were “those the days”?

It’s funny: I’ve been keeping a journal for the last twelve years or so, and every so often I’ll go back to re-read some of my entries. The thing is, there have been A LOT of times in my life when I’ve scrapped commitments to be “free”:

–The time I moved to Honduras by myself to chase my dream and teach in a poverty-stricken rural area.
–When I quit my teaching job with no clue about what I would do next and no leads about any future jobs.
–The time when I almost broke up with my boyfriend (who is now my husband).

Sometimes those are the things that today I think I want—radical living, reckless decisions, no commitments. But as I re-read those journals from what seems like so many years ago, it appears that I wasn’t any more content than I am now.

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Staying committed

Our society loves to hold in high esteem people who do “crazy” things like quit jobs they don’t like without a plan. We admire that, really. Or we validate people who break up with a spouse so they can “chase their dreams” and “find themselves.” How courageous, we think. They deserve to find fulfillment — and if that means breaking up with their spouse, so be it.

We won’t find it in a job (or lack of one) or a spouse (or lack of one). And we surely won’t find it when we quit all of our commitments to “find ourselves.” Contentment isn’t about yourself and your circumstances and zero commitments; it’s actually about staying committed. That’s why Paul writes:

I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

Philippians 4:12-13, NIV

Did you catch the secret? Let me spell it out for you: The secret to contentment is committing to God. It’s not about chasing a new dream — contentment has nothing do with circumstances. It has everything to do with relying on God to give you strength, no matter the circumstances.

But what happens when we live God’s way? He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard– things like affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity. We develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart, and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people. We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments.

Galatians 5:22-23, msg. [emphasis mine]

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